Well, I knew it all along and have changed my bad habits to ensure that the kids never wanted to follow me down... i.e. quit smoking. I was going to anyway, but the kids helped motivate me... Today's SF Chronicle reports on a new scientific study showing that girls seek husbands who resemble their fathers.... We, all, sorta knew that instinctively...
Researchers have long noted that women tend to be drawn to men who are a lot like their fathers, for better or worse. Women raised in households with abusive fathers frequently end up in abusive relationships. Women raised by doting, affectionate dads seem to find doting, affectionate husbands.In the study, published last week in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, psychologists in England and Poland asked 49 Polish women to look at photos of men and choose the ones they found most attractive. The researchers also asked the women whether they got along with their fathers.
The women who reported a positive father-daughter relationship each tended to select a man in the lineup who had facial characteristics similar to their dad's. The women who weren't close to their fathers showed no preference one way or the other.
... It's not as if women are deliberately looking for someone who looks just like Dad. But if he was a good father, then he has genes that might be worth seeking out in a husband, or at least that's what nature might have intended, researchers say.
From early childhood, people look to their parents as examples of what they'll eventually seek in a mate of their own. The opposite-sex parent has the most influence, research suggests, because children and young adults are likely to identify with the same-sex parent and view the other parent as the model partner.Men aren't immune to their mother's influence -- another European study from three years ago noted that men also were likely to choose mates who looked like their mothers. But psychologists say for reasons they don't understand, men are less likely to carry negative experiences with mothers into their adult relationships.
In the study on appearances, Mordecai said it's interesting -- and reassuring -- to note that it was only women who had a positive relationship with their fathers who picked out men who looked like their dads. That women who didn't get along with their fathers avoided choosing men who looked like them, he said, suggests that people are capable of overcoming some of the negative influences of their childhood relationships.
But it's not that cut and dried. In fact, plenty of research suggests that women who have bad relationships with their fathers are more inclined to seek out men who are no good for them. It's what Freud called "repetition compulsion," Mordecai said: an obsessive, subconscious need to repeat traumas from the past, either out of a desire to fix them or because they feel familiar.
So, I may have some have pun making, world traveling, Fiat loving, surfer-jock guys who read books and love their families as sons-in-law, when they finally arrive...- OR- I'll see a side of myself that I never knew existed and will be ashamed and embarrassed...
My great-grandfather had two sons and eight daughters... He is famous for saying "The lord blessed me with daughters but cursed me with sons-in-laws"...
We'll see... However it works out... I have loved my kids and tried to do it the right way... I am lucky to have a son and three daughters... On this Fathers Day and every day, I have felt like I had all the treasure that any man could ask in a lifetime... I wish that all fathers felt that way.. May YOUR Fathers Day be a reflection of the love you have brought into the world... I hope that all Father's stop to reflect if they should change anything...
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